The bris
The ceremony
How the ceremony goes, the honors you can give out, when and where it takes place, and what to prepare.
The baby begins in his mother's arms. She hands him to a couple, who bring him closer to the ceremonial table. Two candles may then be lit, which is optional. He is placed on the symbolic chair of Elijah, familiar from Passover, to receive a blessing. Then he is placed on the lap of the sandek for the circumcision itself.
Immediately after the bris, a blessing is said over a cup of wine and the baby receives his Hebrew name. Newborns are often named after relatives who have passed away. The ceremony ends with a resounding wish of mazel tov.
The honors
These are the honors given out at a bris. I have noted what is generally done, but you are free to choose whomever you would like to be involved.
Carrying the baby in
Traditionally given to a couple who would like to have a child of their own. They are sometimes called the godparents.
Lighting the candles (optional)
Very often given to the grandmothers.
Placing the baby on the chair of Elijah
Sandek
Holds the baby during the bris. Most often given to a grandfather or an esteemed guest.
The standing sandek
Holds the baby during the naming. If there are two grandfathers and one is the sandek, the other is usually given this honor.
Naming the baby
Usually done by me or by a guest rabbi.
When and where
When the bris takes place
The bris is held on the eighth day of your son's life. It may not be performed before the eighth day, and it is not performed at night.
The count includes the day of birth, so a baby born on a Monday has his bris on the following Monday. The one tricky part is that the Jewish day begins at nightfall. Therefore, a baby born on Monday after sunset was born, for this purpose, on Tuesday, and his bris would be the following Tuesday.
If the baby is not in perfect health, even if he is not seriously ill, the bris is delayed until the doctor and I agree that he is well.
Where to hold it
The ceremony usually takes place at home, in a synagogue or at a catering hall. Where to hold it really depends on where the mother will be most comfortable. Some mothers like being able to rest in the privacy of their own bedroom after the ceremony. Others would rather not have a house full of guests so soon after the birth.
What to prepare
Please have these ready for the day.
- 2 firm sleeping pillows (if you have arranged for the ceremonial high chair, only one pillow is needed)
- 2 tallis
- Kosher grape juice, or sweet grape wine
- A kiddush cup
- 2 white candles, candlesticks and matches (optional, and not on Shabbat)
- 1 tube of Bacitracin (1 ounce), or a comparable ointment
- Extra diapers
- Baby wipes
- A receiving blanket that may get soiled or stained
- For Sephardim and Persians only: fragrant spices
Please also decide on the honors for the ceremony.
The baby
- Finish feeding the baby about half an hour before the ceremony.
- Dress him in two layers: a onesie under an outfit that opens easily from the bottom. My own preference is a onesie with a tube gown that has elastic at the bottom.
- Infant acetaminophen drops may be given about 30 minutes before the ceremony. The dose is 1.25 ml.
The room
- A large, open room, preferably the dining room or living room. The ceremony must be held indoors.
- People stand during the ceremony, so please clear the room to make space. Guests who need to sit may of course sit.
- Please make sure there is good lighting.
- A large, sturdy, waist-high table. Any shape will do. No flimsy card tables or diaper-changing tables, please.
- Two chairs placed on the left side of the table (the left side as you face the chairs).
The table
- Cover the table with a tablecloth. Any color or style, but please, no plastic.
- Everything on the list above should be on the table.
- If the baby is being named after someone, it is a nice touch to place a picture of that person on the table.
Questions parents ask
Ask me anything else- When should we do the bris?
- On the eighth day of his life, counting the day he was born, and not at night. If he is not in perfect health, we wait until his doctor and I agree that he is well.
- Do we need to have a large ceremony with a lot of people?
- No. Some families hold it in a synagogue or a catering hall with many guests. Others keep it at home with close family; I have done ceremonies with only the parents and grandparents present. What matters is where the mother will be most comfortable.
- What is the difference between a hospital procedure and a bris done by a mohel?
- In a hospital, the circumcision is usually done by a resident or an intern, and there is no ceremony. In addition, a circumcision done in the hospital is much longer and more painful for the infant. A bris is the ceremony: the blessings, the naming, the honors given to family, and family and friends together for something that is spiritually moving and educational. I do the circumcision myself, and I explain the ceremony so that everyone present understands its meaning.